December 22nd, 2009

Daft calls of the month

Fortunately, I work in a role where I have absolutely no contact with end users. But every now and again, the office will be empty and out of [charity/stupidity/boredom] I will answer a colleague's ringing phone... 

(For context: Our users use radios that have GPS built-in so that we can locate them in emergencies)

Caller: The GPS on my radio isn't working!
Me: How do you know?
Caller: The little satellite icon isn't showing up! What if I required urgent assistance? Your rubbish technology is putting lives at risk!
Me: Ok, where are you now?
Caller: In my office, in the basement of [building]
Me: ...

Quite what sort of satellite coverage (or what emergencies) they were expecting in a concrete basement, I'm not sure. But the winner this month is one that a colleague took:

Caller: I saved a file and now I can't find it!
Colleague: What's it called?
Caller: Word Template.doc
Colleague: I can see it on the system, are you sure it's not there?
Caller: I'm telling you it's not there, the stoopid system deleted it! There's a long list of files and it's not there!

I stopped listening at that point, because it all seemed fairly routine. But later on, I happened to look at the call notes: "Advised caller to scroll to bottom of file list and click 'Next page...' button to locate missing documents".

(no subject)

ME: Setting the MTU to a lower number just means we're feeding your router with a teaspoon instead of a tablespoon. It's still going to eat the whole pie. You won't notice any difference.

CALLER: Don't try to explain it. I'm going with Ockham's Razor on this and saying it's all caused by demons.

ME: What?

CALLER: It's the simplest answer and therefore the best.