Things I Am Not Allowed To Do At Work, Part 9
(Previously. Recap: University sysadmin.)
- Name servers after meta-syntactic variables.
- The correct strategy for coping with a contagious illness is not, "Continue to come in and cough on all the users, so that there's no work for you to do when you recover.”
- Configure the undergraduate lab workstations to object verbally when someone tries to wander off with one of it's peripherals.
- Change the graphical login shell on April Fools Day to mimic the Windows 95 desktop, complete with Mac start-up chord.
- Tell a user that all of their data – and all of the backups of their data – are gone, "Just to see the look on their little faces."
- Reduce load on the home-directory servers by implementing "rolling
SIGSTOPs" on end-user terminals.
- Keep sharpened CD blanks in my desk drawers.
- Say, "Ooops, that's not the button I meant to press." while in earshot of, well, anyone.
- Explain to undergraduates that "the git revision control tool" is an implement used by authoritarian lecturers to make them prepare harder for exams.
- Publish notices in public spaces claiming that "It's not just you. Technical support really are out to get you. Yes, you."
- ... or add a footnote claiming that the ire of technical services can be placated with chocolate.
- Well done, however, for passing your first-aid training. Hopefully you won't need it. While you're at it, could you take over as the local fire coordinator as well..?